Self-harm| People Who Harm Themselves |10 Characteristics
Self-harm individuals or those who engage in self-destructive behavior seem completely irrational and foolish. However, it is a destructive impulse that we all carry within us to a better or smaller extent. This article sheds light on people who self-harm.
Sigmund Freud says that we all have a constructive impulse towards life and everything, and he calls it the “journey of life”. He also indicates that we have a counterpoint that leads us to death and destruction. This is one of the causes why there have been battles all over history and in all cultures. It is also why many people develop self-destructive behaviors. However, these behaviors persist only in some cases.
Usually, this happens when there are situations that give rise to a lot of anger. In reality, these aggressive impulses are directed towards something else, but for some reason, it is impossible to express them. Sometimes, this is because they turn to loved ones or because individuals are afraid to give their voices.
In these cases, the person turns the aggression on himself. And then different results occur when they see themselves as their worst enemy and begin to form self-destructive personalities. Here are ten traits that best describe people who self-harm.
1-Negative ideas in self-harming people
The ideas of self-harming people include all thoughts that aim to devalue someone, hinder their progress, or hinder the success of others. In the mind of a self-harming person, these thoughts arise almost automatically.
Then comes the context for the “self-fulfilling prophecy”: you will not achieve this, you will not achieve this. In this context, these thoughts are so powerful that they create reality by themselves. Another approach is to always remind oneself of what is missing, what is not perfect, or what one does not have, and make one believe it. In short, all this is a powerful fuel for self-destruction.
2-Passivity and enforced inability
Passivity in this case is about refraining from acting in the face of a situation or situation that causes personal harm. The person is aware that something negative is happening but does nothing to stop it or control its effect. For example, passivity occurs if we allow our environment to abuse us or if we do not defend ourselves against aggression.
Forced incompetence is a tendency that highlights a lack of skill. Before the person tries to do something, they exaggerate all their personal limitations that make it difficult to achieve something, and as a result they succumb rather than overcome it.
Our diet says a lot about how we think and feel about ourselves. In fact, not eating is seen as self-punishment. And they don’t give their body the nutrients it needs to stay healthy.
The same occurs at the reverse end of the spectrum. Eating too much food creates different health problems both in the short and long term. This sometimes leads to an insatiable appetite. But no matter how much they eat, they are not satisfied and instead, factors such as sadness and guilt lead to the desire to eat more. Then this approach invites diseases such as obesity, heart attack, blood pressure, and diabetes.
4-Hurting others and self-pity
Self-harm people often have hostile and harmful attitudes towards others. While creating unnecessary conflicts, they are thoughtless, rude, jealous, and gossipy. Others see people primarily as a source of conflict and problem. According to them, other people always disappoint them.
Often, after these conflicts, they feel self-pity deep in their hearts. They attack, but when the other person reciprocates, the self-harming person acts like a victim of an unjust act. They insult but feel sorry for themselves when insulted. Self-harming people will never accept the promise that you reap what you sow.
5-Self-harming people and substance abuse
Self-harming is sometimes obvious and sometimes not so much. Some people intentionally injure themselves: They cut themselves and pull their hair out. They also expose themselves to risky situations that cause accidents relatively often. In another way, they do so in a less obvious way, such as getting painful tattoos or piercings on sensitive body parts.
When they abuse substances that harm the body, there is also self-harm. The most obvious case is their excessive use of drugs, such as alcohol. Addictions are extremely harmful and in high doses, they always lead to death without intervention.
Social suicide occurs when you lose emotional ties to those around you. This is usually a gradual process. First, there is a reluctance to be with others, which gradually turns into progressive social isolation and the person isolates himself from society.
People who self-harm engage in a range of behaviors that bother not only themselves but others as well. Sometimes they are overly attractive or contemptuous of others. They are then treated negatively by others. But they think their rejection of others is justified.
7-Hiding feelings and refusing help
It is very difficult for people who self-harm, to be honest with themselves. They fail to understand and recognize their own emotions. Instead, they unconsciously try to keep their feelings secret. They have every rationalization to justify their behavior and are never inclined to admit when they have a problem.
Therefore, helping people who hurt themselves is also very difficult. If someone from his environment recommends him to visit a psychologist, they will perceive it as a sign of aggression and contempt. These people will insist on continuing to behave the same way rather than wanting to be good.
8-Physical and mental neglect
People who self-harm often forget their own bodies. They do not engage in physical exercise and have a reckless attitude about physical exercise. They also have a negative view of their body, of course, about physical pleasures such as sex. Their lack of interest in body care is a manifestation of how little they appreciate themselves.
In addition, they do not make any effort to solve the problems in their minds and fulfill their responsibilities. If they have insomnia problems, they accept it and are reluctant to take action to solve it. If they feel emotional discomfort, they prefer to victimize themselves but do nothing to change it.
Life requires sacrifice in many situations. However, people who self-harm feel more valuable when they achieve higher success or achieve a better level of well-being. When people who self-harm realize that they have become a constant contributor to bad situations, they respond to their destructive behavior.
Some people assume that these ongoing self-sacrifices are a test of nobility, good character, or altruism, and act accordingly. The only thing in the background is the act of self-sabotage. What hides this type of behavior causes them to give up on their desires, dreams, and achievements. Self-harming people aren’t afraid to avoid painful or challenging situations just to reduce their chances of becoming a good person.
Deep down, self-harming people don’t value love. In fact, they don’t have a lot of self-esteem and just because of that, they can’t tolerate a relationship where everything is somehow going well. Strangely, if they feel loved or appreciated, they will do everything they can to stop it. They would rather be a victim than lucky and take pleasure in that.
In addition, they are likely to be capricious or demanding. By any means necessary, they try to convince the other person that it is not worth having a relationship with them or that they are not worthy of the love they are experiencing. They see sabotaging positive relationships as another way of harming themselves.
This type of behavior deals with undigested experiences and individuals who have difficulty constructing their self-image. Self-harming people are, first and foremost, their own victims. These people are caught in the imposition of a person or situation that they cannot defend themselves with. This identity stems from traumatic circumstances. The person feels as if they are stuck in a mirror reflecting a distorted image.
It is true that those with these traits have difficulties with self-esteem. But beyond that, it cannot be ignored that they have a difficulty in perceiving themselves. Seeing yourself in a more constructive way requires challenging an authority figure or a specific post. What lies behind this position is unconscious fear, such as being happier than his mother or father. Or, for example, proving that a religious “truth” is not true. Whatever the case, it is imperative that people who self-harm seek professional treatment.